Home Knows No Borders
01 June 2003

I went home with some big questions in my mind: why is it so difficult to keep prejudices from becoming attitudes which determine how we treat people? And is the only way of learning this to live in another culture for a long time?

I have found that when I live each day in the context of global citizenship, each person I meet is a journey of discovery. This approach also helps me to feel that we all live under the same roof, the sky.

Whenever I have travelled, I have been struck by the realization that when we peel back the layers of our cultural differences, we are all looking for the same thing-to be fulfilled and happy in life.

I first left my family in Chiapas, Mexico, to venture outside my country in 1996, when I was 17. I spent a year in the United States, staying with a family in Kingston, New York. I had heard people describe American culture as cold-but the family I stayed with shattered this stereotype. From the first day, they welcomed me as another member of their family. They didn't have a spare bedroom, but they adapted a TV room into my special space. They introduced me to all their relatives, and took me to high school each day. Today I feel that I have a second family in the US.

Naturally there were challenges-particularly facing life on my own. This helped me to get to know my inner self: when I felt homesick I founded it helped to keep a diary, to register my emotions. But what helped most was having my American family there for me. We had a family joke about whether there are eggs in Mexico, something my host-brother had asked me about. When it was time for me to leave, we all had tears on our faces.

I went home with some big questions in my mind: why is it so difficult to keep prejudices from becoming attitudes which determine how we treat people? And is the only way of learning this to live in another culture for a long time?

I next left Mexico when I was 21 to take part in an Initiatives of Change conference in the Swiss village of Caux. It was my first experience of the old continent-and because it was an international conference, I met people from different ages and cultures, with unique stories. As I flew home, I reflected on how my Latin culture tends to be seen as warmer than others-but that this wasn't necessarily true. Human warmth doesn't know frontiers.

Of course, different cultures have different ways of doing things, but I have found that with a bit of patience and love one can see beyond them, without having to abandon one's own values or approach. For instance, at times, people have been very direct with me. In my culture, we tend to say things in a less straightforward way. It was a chance for me to learn to be less emotional and more rational, to balance feelings with thoughts-and also, perhaps, to show others that emotions have a role to play.

When I greeted people with a kiss on the cheek, as we do in Latin cultures, they would show a certain resistance. I discovered their preference for shaking hands rather than kissing or hugging didn't mean they didn't care.

I am still in the middle of my third overseas experience, working in London. As I write, I am home on a visit to my family. Looking back, I realize that being in different cultural contexts, yet surrounded by warm and enriching people, has made me value my life.

I also find it fascinating that when I am away from home, I still feel close to Mexico. Life is full of discoveries. One of them has been learning to be humble enough to feel at home wherever I go. After all, ultimately, we all share the same home.
by Fabiola Benavente


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