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The Paradox of Memory
31 January 2007


I think it was William Temple who said that heresy is a failure to embrace both sides of a paradox. I really like that quote because it expresses the paradoxical nature of the spiritual life.

I was reminded of this as I finished reading Salley Vickers' latest book The Other Side of You. Like all her books, it is about redemption - in this case it tells the story of a suicidal woman through the eyes of the psychiatrist who is assigned to her case. I won't spoil the plot, because the book is well worth a read. Suffice to day that it deals with memory, the 'wounded healer' (another wonderful paradox), and the need to fully remember and process memories if we are to move forward.

The paradox was expressed at the recent Australia as a Neighbour conference in Melbourne by Bishop George Browning in his keynote speech: "We need to deal with the pain of the past in order that it can be sufficiently remembered so that it can be safely forgotten." Like all paradoxes it doesn't make sense unless you try to live it. The response that on the surface seems to be more rational is that we move forward by choosing to forget the past. Surely there is nothing to be gained by dredging the murky waters of memory. Who knows what ugly and painful emotions may be unleashed if we do so?

This is what President Tito tried in Yugoslavia. During his decades-long rule, all public discussion of the ethnic attrocities during WW2 was banned for fear that it would de-stablise the country. Did it work? No! The memories simply went underground, where they gained in strength. After Tito died all that poison came to the surface again with a vengeance - even though a generation had passed.

I know for myself that my first reaction is to try and bury painful memories - so it helps to be reminded that this doesn't work. My wife is an accreditted Journey Therapist and working with memories to get to the point where there is healing and forgiveness is her stock-in-trade. I know from the little work I have done in this area that it is powerful stuff. Looking around at ourselves and the world, how much behaviour and conflict is driven by past trauma? How often do we feel powerless to change our behaviour? The good news is that the past can be healed. But only by having the courage to really face the past, to fully enter into those memories and bring them into the mysterious healing presence of ... (I'm struggling for the right word here. God? The divine? The 'Great Spirit'? Source?) The fact is that words fail at this point. I only know that we can't heal those memories on our own (unless you count the dialogue with the inner divine wisdom as being on your own) but we need someone who will listen to our pain and work with us to get to that sacred place where forgiveness and healing takes place.

Any volunteers? There's a lot of memories that need healing out there!


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